Alone?
by HanyouHanto
Summary: [POTENTIAL SPOILERS.] Set at end of X3. Rouge muses, different things occur... What will happen on this sleepless, lonesome morning? Rated for one swear word and kindof older themes. Kinda.


MY FIRST FIC! OMG WTF ROFL SQLKFM AVKJLSMDLF!

I wrote this in a fairly short period of time… uncharacteristically short… But it is nonetheless a quaint little piece.

It's a harmless little one-shot about Rouge's musings, and possible alternate outcomes, of an end of certain recent motion picture series.

Please enjoy!

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_A l o n e ? _

Rouge meandered the broad hallways of the mansion. She kept on trudging, past the doors, past the hallway lights, turning corners, to no particular destination on that sleepy Saturday morning. Nearly everyone else was sleeping in. The only sounds she heard were the lonely background noises of the building that she had heard for years when all else was silent: the moving water of the plumbing, the soft buzz of lights.

But this morning, it felt particularly lonely. She was aware that all the people she knew were still snoring softly all around in their rooms. But something in her mind didn't let her sleep that morning, forcing her to wander in the semi-darkness. What was it?

She knew. It was because _not_ all the people she knew were there. Much had happened recently. Even though it was a few months ago, it seemed like yesterday. So much had happened. She wished she could forget.

_Hmph_. She snorted at herself, ashamed to think such juvenile thoughts, when in the near future she'd be leaving the mansion to go out on her own. Leaving its memories, leaving its frustrations. Leaving its strange sense of security: security that never truly existed, but she found in the company of its inhabitants.

She found herself in the courtyard. White benches and lush trees surrounded her, bathed in the soft curious glow of a sunrise. She also saw three grand stone memorials standing proudly in the partial light. They were made of white granite with names engraved into them, and a profile of an older man carved into the largest one. She noted how beautiful they were as she lowered herself to sit on a bench. But at the same time they were hideous. Ugly reminders of incidents long past that were horrible in their severity, and even more so in their preventableness.

Her mind began wandering. The red sun was intensifying as it ascended, and she looked away, electing to focus on the large stone fountain in the center of the courtyard. That too had once been beautiful, until that night she saw Bobby had turned it into a private skating rink for Kitty and himself.

She snorted again. No matter how much time or ignoring or wisdom went into the matter, it always seemed fresh and painful and wrong. She had loved Bobby. And Bobby had loved her. Or so she thought.

Oh, it just didn't make any sense! One moment, she and Bobby were holding hands, washing their hair in the moonlight, wanting nothing more than the other's smiling face to be closer. The next moment, Bobby was looking a bit too longingly into this Kathryn's eyes after he bumps into her on 'complete accident.' It was so sudden, like a knife to the stomach, that you barely know what happened until you slowly look down and see yourself bleeding. And no amount of wishing can change it. What was wrong with her? Why was she so neglectable and undesirable?

Oh, she knew full well why. She shifted on the bench, feeling uneasy as she did whenever she thought about it. At one point, she had wanted to change it. She was going to make Bobby love her again by finally ridding herself of her god-awful powers. With new hope and resolve, she was determined to get that heaven-sent cure and finally be normal, after all the years of persecution and pain and loneliness. She'd never wanted anything so truly. Nothing was going to stop her.

Except Logan. _Damn that Logan!_ As she was walking out the door to go and get the cure, when she was on the threshold of happiness, Wolverine stopped her and warned her of the truth that she suppressed at the back of her mind. Of course she wanted the cure for herself; how could he even suggest otherwise! She'd continued out the door, not changing her mind. But even though her body was striding like a stallion towards her destination, her mind was still back talking with Logan, with herself. That dumb little speech she made about always having wanted to shake hands and hug… It seemed that at that moment she had forgotten what clothing and gloves did for her. It took her many miles into the trip before she realized what she already knew. Though she did want it for herself, she did it for Bobby. Wishful thinking of a girl so determined to change a boy.

_You're not a little girl anymore! _she told herself as the idea that Bobby still might love her seeped into her mind. She rose hastily and paced the path around the fountain with her quick legs. They were stiff from misuse, after what she realized must have been hours of useless meditation. As she speed-walked, she tried and tried to banish the ghosts of the past out of her aching skull, but to no avail.

She slowed, feeling the silent rising sun boom its power down on her head, and glanced down to her reflection in the water. A young woman with streaked hair stared back up at her from behind rippling glass and specks of reflected sun. Her expression was soft, but her eyebrows furrowed pitifully. _Maybe I am,_ she mused. Maybe she was still just a little girl. The softness of expression in her reflection began to break. She lets the past bother her, she hold onto a stupid idea of a perfect relationship with someone who dumped her, and she get up early in the morning just to run around and pout.

She returned to the bench and slumped down, head in her cupped hands. And all she wanted was love. She just wanted to love and be loved back. Was it that wrong? Did that make her foolish? Would she ever have companionship? Yes, she had all her friends and people who knew her at the institute. But _real_ companionship? Someone who'd truly understand? Was her brief time with Bobby even real at all? Was she doomed to stumble through this stupid life with no hope of love?

She was alone. Whether she truly was or wasn't, she didn't know. But she felt sure that she had been denied of the pure joy and freedom that everyone else around her seemed to be reveling in. Even though she spent her days surrounded by buzzing people, she felt boxed up in a corner, forgotten, when all she wanted to give and receive was love. She was alone. So subtly, painfully, wrongfully alone.

"Heya, cher."

Rouge jumped, and her head whipped up towards the voice. Her hands still cupped holding nothing, she hid her shock and embarrassment with her anger.

"Hey! Whad're you doin' sneaking up on people when they're alone!" Rouge snapped wrathfully at the tall, grinning guy standing before her.

He looked around theatrically, his short, youthful bangs bobbing. "I don' know, but you ain't exactly the only one out here…"

Indeed, many students had risen from their beds and began to mill around the courtyard. Rouge had just noticed, but you could just hear their shouting voices and see their scurrying shapes as they prepared for the day. She must have been sitting there longer than she thought…

"Yeah, well- …Yeah? Whatever." she managed, as she began to rise to walk away.

"Wait! I was wondering if you wanted to-"

"Ah'm not in the mood, okay?" she growled, hastening up and beginning to leave.

He stopped in front of her. "C'me on, hear Remy out. You won' be disappointed!"

_Can you believe this guy?_ She recognized him as the campus flirt, always revealing that broad grin to every girl he passed by, and referring to himself in the third person. She didn't know why he always talked to her. There must have been plenty of other girls who'd go for him just for his pretty-boy face, even if his glowing red eyes may take a little getting used to.

"Okay, whadaya want?" she mumbled.

"Well," he looked down and scratched the back of his head. "Remy's gotta go an' pick up some milk n' stuff, but since he don' really know his way 'round town that good, an' I's wonderin-"

She glared at him. "You've been here for months. Why wouldn't you know where nothin' is?"

He paused. "I haven't been goin' to town much, seein' as how Remy been doin' paper work and stuff since he moved here-"

"Then ask someone else to do it." She turned and began walking away.

He looked pensive for a moment. "But, ya see, now... well…my… uh…My fish! He sick an' Remy don' know where ta-"

Rouge rolled her eyes. He was just stabbing in the dark now. "Yeah. I'm so sure you're gonna go get medicine for your fish." She continued walking away.

He looked blank and slightly frustrated, looking as if he didn't expect things to be this complex and had no idea where to go from there. He sighed. "Wanna go get some coffee or som'm?" He grinned his grin.

_Come on!_ No wonder he called himself Gambit. He was living dangerously, having the nerve to ask Rouge out, after batting his eyes at every female in the institute.

"What, did every other girl turn ya down already?" said Rouge, irritated.

"Aw, cher, don' be like dat! You de only one for Remy!"

_Get a load of this guy!_ He, with his gaudy charm and poor grammar. And that big dumb grin. He was still wearing that big dumb grin he's had every time he's attempted and failed to produce casual small talk with her. She stopped and turned around. He looked so awkward and lanky. His black headband made him look like he was the only one informed of some strange fad. His long face was sincere, yet so goofy. She had to laugh, and it felt like the first time in ages. Her shoulders shook in semi-silent chuckles and she put her fist over her pursed mouth.

Remy could tell she was trying futilely to stifle laughter. "Aw, don' cry, cher! Remy's right here," he declared chivalrously.

"Okay, whatever," Rouge smiled.

"…Whatever what?"

"Do ya wanna get some coffee or not?" said Rouge, walking away again.

"OH, 'course, cher!" He stepped alongside her and they walked through the grass and past clumps of people to the exit of the courtyard. They began down the sidewalk, and as Remy was talking about nothing to her, she noticed that his eyes kind of looked like a dark sky that framed the broad red sun that she'd spent all morning with.

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Thank you for reading!

P.S. YES, I know it's just a recycling of information, and not exactly original, and the voice isn't exactly perfect...

But there was symbolism and metaphors and such! Yeah! Extreme! very proud of self

You shall be smiled upon if you review, beloved readers!


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